The Stoned Chrysalis

For the Woke and Waking

Love Sick interview with Laurel and Hector

Aimee Vincent
I feel this shift in femininity at the moment where we are taking a step back and saying “No you don’t get to tell me whats sexy anymore” “You don’t get to tell me which parts of me are sexual or how I can represent my body” I feel this really strong air of reclamation. I mean they can plaster our asses and tits on a billboard but we can’t expose our nipples if we want to?

www.laurelandhector.com.au

That photo shoot in your house was heaps of fun, what did you think of the lil collab between L&H and Stoned Chrysalis? Any fav pieces?

That was such a fun day and I love the entire concept of showing off your pieces in real life wardrobes. I mean I love everything you do but our style is super different, you’re my colourful friend and i’m the grub who only ever shops second hand so actually floggin’ your pieces with my own stuff really reiterated how versatile your designs can be. Just made me appreciate you even more my dog. 

 

If I HAD to choose a favourite piece it would probably be the xoxo pants and skirts, they are both really flattering and go well with either a comfy tee or more dressed up. 

 

As long as I've known you, you've been an op shop/recycled clothing kinda gal, what's your thoughts on fast fashion?

You know me, I don’t think too much about fashion but I think people need to be aware of where they are spending their money and how things are being produced so quickly and so cheaply. Are the companies producing this shit doing it ethically or on the backs of other people? This stuff matters. I also think individuality is so important and when we are just constantly changing with whats being forced down our throats as “cool” or whatever we lose any chance of choosing our own style and being true to our vibe.

 

 

How can we hold companies accountable or how can we as consumers be more aware of what we're buying?

I think there should be peak bodies that are seriously responsible for holding companies accountable. I mean that shit that happened in Bangladesh a few years ago when the building collapsed from lack of care and maintenence, that is avoidable when businesses are ACTUALLY being held accountable! 

 

There also needs to be a higher level of individual accountability and we as members of this society need to take ownership of our actions. Money is like placing a vote, if you don't spend your money somewhere because you ethically don't agree with their shit, then they lose out. That’s powerful. It’s important to care about and to research what you’re supporting. 

 

 You're the same with your pets, where do you foster from? 

Ahhh my pets. They are all rescues. I adopted my first dog 11 years ago and she's still going strong, albeit skint as all hell. I also have an adopted cat, bird and most recently dog, Odin who came from Rockys K9 Rescue which is the shelter I’ve volunteered for on and off for around 6 years. Amazing little shelter out in Canley Vale started by one of my heroes Merna who lives and breathes for rescuing abandoned and abused animals, of which there are many.

 Much like the fashion we were talking about before, the same thing happens with pets. It makes my blood boil. People will impulsively buy a designer animal while thousands of cats and dogs sit in kennels waiting to die. Thats some cognitive dissonance shit. It needs to change.

 

 How can people get involved?

You can add them on Facebook! Rockys K9 rescue. Also just encourage people to look into rescue pets before buying from breeders or pet stores, it doesn’t matter from which shelter just don’t support the production of animals as commodities.

 

Talk to us about Stoned Chrysalis, where did it start?

I’ve always had a passion for Crystals and sort of natural healing I guess you can call it, after years of struggling with my own emotional issues I looked more to meditation and self reflection to help me overcome things rather than modern medicine, anti depressants etc. Then one day I met this amazing older couple who really taught me a lot about the meditative and healing properties of crystals, from there I started casually making pendants which I loved doing, then went on to stocking raw stones mainly for womens health and wellbeing. Now thats sort of accelerated further down that path and i’m really getting into the sexual health of women through natural sex toys, which is something i’m really passionate about. So i’m now having crystal sex toys and aides hand crafted and selling them through my business The Stoned Chrysalis, which has been super exciting.

 

 

You're moving into a more liberating space for women, how has this been received?

Yeah, it’s actually been really liberating for me personally to be having these conversations with women and being able to talk openly about sex, our bodies, fears, insecurities and things we feel hold us back. I feel we’ve all really wanted to be talking about this stuff for so long and now is the time. So i’d say its been quite well received by my friends and through Instagram. Haven't had any death threats yet..

 

What's your idea of sex vs what the media feeds us?

I think we’re all tired of the medias bullshit. I know I am. And I feel this shift in femininity at the moment where we are taking a step back and saying “No you don't get to tell me whats sexy anymore” “You don’t get to tell me which parts of me are sexual or how I can represent my body” I feel this really strong air of reclamation. I mean they can plaster our asses and tits on a billboard but we can't expose our nipples if we want to? We have only ever really experienced a mostly male catered media and porn especially, but I think that is slowly changing. Porn feeds us this completely unrealistic, misogynistic version of sex which most of the time is awful for us women, I mean if I experienced some of the shit i’ve watched in pornos i’d be scarred for life. Not to mention the message it’s giving young boys, typical porn is like a video on “How to: be shit in bed”

Sex should be a connective and reciprocal experience or exchange, not an act where one party leaves satisfied and the other doesn’t. To me sex is the ultimate opportunity for spiritual growth and growth as human beings

 

How do you think we could move into a more female body positive space within our communities, media & advertising?

I’d love to see more women of colour in fashion, particularly First Nations women in this country. And obviously women of all different sizes who actually reflect this society that we live in. Fuck the beauty standard bullshit, we need to start asking ourselves why we aren't seeing more black, brown and asian faces, more size 12, 14, 16 in the media and advertising. Enough of the tokenistic crap, we need to start seeing true representations of the world.

 

Have you copped any slack for being so vocal about how important female orgasms are?

To be honest not really, I mean i’ve had a few gross comments left, but at the end of the day women want to hear this stuff because we all think it. I think perhaps my opinions maybe intimidate a few men but that’s totally ok by me haha

 

 I often wonder how liberated your daughter Airlia will be when she's older, what are some positive messages that you've taught her that other kids just don't get?

I guess I just try to encourage her to be free, to not feel ashamed about things. I mean obviously I teach her this in a responsible way but I just really try to combat the insecurities other people put on her. I mean I had her tell me vagina was a bad word, I met a mother who made her kid call her vagina a “front bum”. Front bum, dude. Like I don't even understand that. Airlia is such a feisty strong willed girl, I just don't want that fire to be stamped out of her. I always tell her to stand up for herself and try to give her the opportunity to do so before I rush in to baby her. She's tougher than most adults already.

 

 

How do you think social media can shape the conversations younger women are having?

Its like a flip of the coin. It’s so good to have a space where we can connect with all types of women from all over the world but then you can get into some dark shit too so it’s a fine line. I think all in all it’s a really powerful tool of connection and I choose to see the positives rather than the negatives.

 

Porn, ah yes, this question..thoughts, feelings, emotions?

I used to love porn, but i’ve always been very specific about the types i’ll watch. I like porn with real people, or people whom at least seem real. I don’t like looking at bald vaginas because they are too child like for me and I won’t watch anything that is degrading or violent. So basically I like lesbian porn with women who have ample bush hahaha

 

While we're on the topic of porn, whats your 2 cents on female body hair? 

I dig it 5000%. I also back whatever choices women want to make but personally I feel more myself, more womanly and more sexual when I have bush. I also wanted to challenge myself to grow my underarm hair back recently and now I can’t believe I ever used to shave. I got sick of being told what is beautiful and sexy and when I realised how male centred the entire conversation was I thought it was almost my responsibility to grow the babies back in full flare.

 

Female contraception vs male contraception?

Meh i’m on the pill. It kinda sucks but not as much as the other options for me. I’ve heard of some male contraceptive options that are potentially coming out including this switch that they can turn on and off to clasp their tubes so semen does get out and then obviously the temporary snip becoming more standard. Hurry up I say.

 

Why do you think there's lack of funding around male contraception? 

Because contraception has always sort of been a domestic duty; women take care of house, women cook, women make baby not come. Its lame. But true. I think because we are the ones that birth the babies it’s really fallen on us and obviously the fact that our hormones are more easily controlled apparently… I have heard there is potential for a male hormonal injection so whats the damn hold up?

 

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