I’ve written about sex toys before but today I want to talk about self pleasure and the curved G spot wand in particular. This is the newest addition to both the store and my personal collection. One of the biggest areas of concern for customers with the woke wands is the fact they don’t vibrate…technically. For more on this check out the sex toy blog post. You can find a lot of information on the issues surrounding vibrating sex toys, its an obvious fact that we can become so accustomed to the vibration that we end up finding it difficult or impossible to orgasm without it, this then translates into our intimate relationships with others, I had one customer tell me she was literally unable to orgasm with her lover without using her vibrator. I mean it's great to have autonomy and know what gets you off but it’s also nice to be able to do it with or without a toy and for your partner to be able to help you achieve this without a machine. Non vibrating toys help us to understand our bodies and the ways they respond to different pressures, touch, movement and speed. In the book Orgasm Unleashed by Eyal Matsliah there are some great practices outlined to help readers connect more with their pussies and experience deeper and more satisfying orgasms, while I didn't adapt all of the practices in the book I have carried some into my every day life such as making time to actually make love to myself, setting the mood f o r m y s e l f - not only with lovers and creating ritual around my self pleasure. I have a tendency to use orgasm as a stress reliever or distraction, I’ve done it in past relationships and I do it with myself - things get a bit tough and I have sex or get myself off so I can stress relieve and move on - not the greatest coping mechanism as it acts as a mere distraction to the actual underlying issues. For me, incorporating a more healing element to self pleasure has been really beneficial as I am still relieving stress but by taking my time I am allowing the issues enough space to be seen. I am also allowing my sexual energy to build instead of doing quick releases which means I have more satisfying experiences and orgasms all round. Generally in our lifetimes we will touch ourselves more than anyone else will touch us, so why do we not pay the same mind and take the same care when having sex alone as we do when partnered? Last night I decided to dedicate the night to myself and incorporated the Rose Quartz curved wand for the first time so I want to tell you about it.
I’ve needed a lot of healing lately which I haven't been making time for and it’s been reflecting in my self confidence and esteem, so last night was all about loving the shit outta myself, I lit candles, created a beautiful mood in my room and sat with the new woke wand for a while post cleansing.
When I felt comfortable to do so I started using the curved wand and discovered i f u c k i n g l o v e i t. The shape of the curved wand means you can hold it on your pelvic bone curving down wards so the wand sits on your clitoris and reaches into the vulva, its long enough that you can push it a few inches inside if thats what you want so it combines that clitoral stimulation and penetration we often desire. The entrance to the vagina is full of nerve endings and if you watched Naomi Wolfs Vagina lecture you will know that each part of our labia, vulva and vagina have different emotional receptors in the brain so when we stimulate each of these areas we have different reactions both physical and emotional - using a vibrator often denies us the opportunity to explore these realms. Using glass or crystal dildos may take us longer to orgasm but I argue that this is not a bad thing.
(Side note to consider:
Would you want a lover penetrating you without you being lubricated? No? Then take the time to arouse yourself before engaging in penetrative masturbation or meditation. Lube is great but taking time to actually arouse and lubricate ourselves is even better!
I love a quickie but do I want them all. the. time? Fuck NO. So then why is it so common to have purely goal orientated self pleasure? By taking our time we are valuing the experience and actually loving ourselves, isn't that what its called? Self love. By taking my time I feel more valued and immersed in the experience
Many women have issues around feelings of autonomy and agency in sex, often times we can find it difficult to ask for the time we need to orgasm with a lover - which can see instances of faking orgasms etc - having sex with ourselves is the perfect opportunity to practice owning the process and taking our time without apology)
Using the curved wand I felt more immersed during the experience as it was accessing all the areas I want accessed in sex, I could control the speed and movement of the wand easily using only one hand and not having to excerpt myself so my mind was free to relax and I could fully indulge in the pleasure rather than the logistics of the actual process.
Long story short, I had multiple orgasms at the hands of the curved woke wand and it was a fucking excellent experience. I felt more satisfied and euphoric than usual as I didn't have to do as much to orgasm, while I had complete control over the movement of the wand it was super easy to manoeuvre and only required one hand.
Some other feedback customers have given me on the woke wands include:
Squatting over the wand like you are on top during sex.
Doing the above while using a vibrator on the clitoris or stimulating manually.
Using for partnered meditation.
Heating the wand before use to create different sensations (this can also be done with super cold water if you want to experience the opposite)
Circling the wand around the entrance of the vagina while stimulating the clitoris manually.
Using long gliding motion from the clitoris to the vagina opening.