The Stoned Chrysalis

Aimee H for The Female Gaze

Aimee Vincent

Sexual development

I have suffered from chronic abdominal illness and depression since my early teens which for me came at a cost of a very limited sex drive. I think for me, because I was so critically sick growing up I didn't have the same experience as other people, I was wild in other ways - but never sexually. Its been as i've gotten older and through self discovery that i've kind of unlocked different things and thats probably the most empowering bit, that i've learnt it all myself while dealing with other health issues. My mum was so supportive, she was always super honest and open in a way, maybe I pushed that away or I shied away from it because I didn't fully understand or feel it - so in terms of sex it's definitely been a process of unlocking as the years go on, particularly with chronic illness I have always looked towards a partners affection and companionship moreso because the struggle with pain relating to intimacy was and still to this day can be unbearable, it's almost become a subconscious action to shy away from it.

However, when the right energy is there, through meditation and slowly working through emotional and physical pains I have felt strong connections that have taken me to other levels of oneness. It's taken work to break through these layers but it's an ongoing process and self discovery for me is a huge part - being open minded and expressing myself in as many aspects as I can"

Beauty Standards

For me its been different than the norm, I was always just seen as a boy and still am I guess - alot of my friends don't see me as a girl because i've always skated and been seen as a "tom boy" if you want to call it that - so beauty has never been a thing for me, which is maybe why I struggle with feeling sexy and all that kind of stuff... I have had partners in the past put me down about it and make it into a negative thing that I dress "like a boy" or appear masculine to a degree and theyd try to make me feel weird about liking the things that I do, so I guess i've had a different kind of experience with people telling me "youre a boy, youre a boy, youre a boy" as though its a negative thing so i've never naturally felt sexy or feminine"